Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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