Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
