Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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