kristin has been a bad kristin
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize