I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
