I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
