I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
