I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
