do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
