i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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