It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
