yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
