Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
