this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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