Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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