We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
