My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
