I accidentally burped into my bong.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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