Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
