OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
