Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
