you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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