you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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