I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
