it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
