He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Houston, we have a squirter
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
