Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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