I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
