Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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