yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
