Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Randomize
