In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize