This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
