Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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