My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
