I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
