I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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