in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
