we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize