is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
