when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
