this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
