why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
