i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
