I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
