I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
