its not stalking. its research.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
