I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
