Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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