For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
bring money and cleavage
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
