He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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