Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
