I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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