You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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