Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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