I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
