guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
