Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
