when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
