I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
